Almost 10 years ago.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

“Paragraph Two

Arthur and I have decided to collaborate on a project combining his photography with my poetry. The idea (initially) is for each of us to come up with 10 topics for the other person who will then take photos/write poetry in relation to said topics. Then Arthur will send me the photos he took and I will write in response to those photos, in turn I will send Arthur the poetry I wrote and he will then take photos to compliment the writings. When we have them all finished we will most likely figure out some intricate way of displaying them together and then Arthur intends to bind them in a hand made book and I plan on building a blog around the entire project.

Arthur of course sent me 18 rather than 10 topics. I believe I am going to (attempt) write about all 18 and then choose 10 of those 18 to include in the project. I originally sent Arthur only 10 topics (as we had agreed) but I have come up with 8 more so that he will have the same option to choose the 10 he prefers.

The topics Arthur sent to me are as follows:

1. Solitude
2.City Limits
4.Bright Light
5.Through the Haze
6.In a Nutshell
7.Around the Clock
8.Ocean View
10.Putting on Airs
11.Blood, Sweat and Tears

The topics I chose for Arthur are below:

1.Spiritual Warfare
2.Somewhere in the City
3.This American Life
4.In Reverse
5.Internal Dialog
7.The Body is a Temple
11.The Messenger
12.Total Loss
14.Deus Ex Machina

I would be much more confidant in the success of this project, the completion of this project even if I still wrote well enough to warrant a project involving poetry…We’ll see how it goes. (Carrie, “Paragraph Two”, 2009)”

Carrie and Arthur’s project never was completed. So I decided to start working on their list. However instead of poetry ill be writing.

C. (2009, August 18). Paragraph Two. Retrieved March 29, 2019, from


Time Loop


What causes the pull to be so strong? Why is it called history if we are still doing it and will continue doing it? You know how we look back on our past and attempt to learn from it and get nowhere? It is the stubborn part of us that wants so badly for things to workout in our favor. It is to the point what we have known, is what we now know, and will always know.

Basically it comes down to simply being comfortable with someone. Is love even an option anymore?
A close friend tells me that although her ex has cheated on her with the girl he is now with she still sleeps with him. The crazy thing is he was doing that with his first baby mama. She tells me that she is ready to build a family but is stuck on him. So I kindly tell her that she can’t build a family with someone new if she is stuck on someone else. “Seriously though how is that even fair to the new guy you are trying to be with now.” long story short the conversation goes on for hours and I get and I get nowhere with her. Months went by and she kept sleeping with her ex while he was with someone else and praying that she would be able to get over him one day. I sat back like, “So how about those cowboys” because that is a normal conversation changer like the weather. Only for her ex in the end to be the one to finally call it quits and stopped sleeping with her and tries the loyal thing with his current girlfriend. 

We are so smart yet so dumb for our own good. Damaged and in the loop they call “history”. So I ask again, “why is the pull so strong?” I blame love songs, poems, and movies for filling our heads with this happy ever after. That famous “girl talk” that we give each other and say well if you are loyal to him he will come back. UGH! Someone get me a bucket I think I am going to lose my lunch. We sit around hoping for a different outcome although we keep doing the same thing.

A time loop

California king

Most people think or better yet listen to music as a way of expressing themselves. If you had to listen to the music that someone likes or even plays over and over there is a message in it.

I’ve slept on a California king bed before and it takes up the whole room leaving enough room for a dresser. If you have ever seen this bed you would know that four adults could sleep side by side with no problem. Rihanna choose to make a song using this bed as a mental image as to how far apart her and her spouse have grown apart.
Unfortunately this song happens to be the song that my boyfriend chooses to play over and over on his guitar hero. If you are in a relationship this is not a song you want your spouse playing over and over when their drunk. He tells me that depending on how our night has gone determines how he feels about the song. Other night he just likes her voice and the melody. Just to give you a idea of how often the song is played, his current score on guitar hero live is 107,001. I refuse to believe that I was being annoying that night, he had three too many shots and replayed the song 11 times. If you think I’m kidding sorry to say I’m not, Hell I counted! In that moment I chose to tell myself that he wanted a easier song to master. Crazy thing tho is after playing a song more than two times the colors start to blend and one hand stops moving causing me to miss keys.

The song to my boyfriend however is his way of telling me that we don’t click like we use to. He loves me but I don’t understand him or what he was trying to say. A solution to this is to let him explain to me what he meant or even better take the guitar and play a different song myself lol. A relationship is not easy, it takes time (a lot) and understanding. The music that a person listens to explains so much sometimes withoutthem ever having to say anything themselves. Either the music explains how they currently feel or a fantasy world they wish they could disappear too.
Lets be honest I’m a work in progress when it comes to trying to understand better.

Lets play! Ask me anything!

Soooo I stole this from the britchy one whom i will properly tag once im on my computer and not my phone.

In keeping with Rakkelle and Bottomless Coffee I’ve decided to stick with the ‘Ask me anything’ theme. Let’s see where it goes!”

You can ask any questions here in the comments section between now and Sunday and I’ll answer them on Monday.

Im Curious and may have a Confession or two.

Understanding Jane Gotti .25

Continuation from Understanding Jane Gotti

To understand .25 you must start at the link above…. join me on this journey 🙂

To speed up the story Calvin locked eyes on Jane and they became close. I’d even go as far as saying the eye color is what reeled her in. Trips to Bev’s house stopped becoming about meeting up with Bev and more about the

attraction to Calvin. He would often offer Jane pickles knowing that she loved them only to watch her suck on them. Sex in the shed, down back roads, and late night text started happening on

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the regular. You name it and it was going down. Aside from the fact Calvin was dating Bev’s mom still, the age difference made thing a little complicated at first for a 17 year old to be dating a 32 year old. Jane was freaking out herself and everything was just moving so fast. After running to clean herself off in the bathroom and collect her thoughts, she came out to Bev and her mother returning home. She had to play it cool so they wouldn’t suspect anything was going on.

As the weeks go by the sex was getting intense as they continued to fuck like rabbits. Knowing that at any minute Jane could get caught in the act, gave her the most intense adrenaline rush. Calvin later gave Jane the choice to continue sneaking around or go public with their relationship. The question to be honest came as a shock. She couldn’t believe that someone as sexy as him could be into someone like her. Her of all people, how could this be possible.

It was safe to say that Calvin had no problem cheating on his spouse. After a few months went by of them secretly dating they became public with their relationship. Calvin left Bev’s mother and later started cheating on Jane with some other sloth. I mean side chick or whatever. Jane was in love with him and although aware of the cheating she remained with him. At this time learning “it’s all in how you use your words”.

A skill Jane later began to test, a skill she later would come to master……


Quick someone grab a freaking dictionary because I have no idea what the hell a girlfriend is or how to be one! So these two people have a baby and they attempt to teach this baby about life, have morals, goals, standard. ” You are never to good for something, they say. Sky is the limit, if you put your mind to it you can achieve anything, they say.” My dad spent my whole life 

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couching me to be the best person I can be all so in the end I can get that nice, fancy ring guys spend thousands on. Do guys even look at rings? Do they picture what their wedding days will be like?

“No man will marry a whore, You must keep a clean house, you must cook, make money but not to much money, not to much sassy, no man wants to argue, he would say.”  That’s all fine but no one has ever told me how to be a girlfriend first. What to do if everything I do is still not good enough. If you think the same rules apply as a “girlfriend” than a wife well let me be theRelated image first to tell you that you are wrong. That’s the simple shit that people just do on their own. It takes so much more or does it?