1 year anniversary!!!

🥂 New year, new Achievements!!! Can’t wait to see what this year is going to bring for my blog! Its going to be a blogtastic year!!!🤪

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California king

Most people think or better yet listen to music as a way of expressing themselves. If you had to listen to the music that someone likes or even plays over and over there is a message in it.

I’ve slept on a California king bed before and it takes up the whole room leaving enough room for a dresser. If you have ever seen this bed you would know that four adults could sleep side by side with no problem. Rihanna choose to make a song using this bed as a mental image as to how far apart her and her spouse have grown apart.
Unfortunately this song happens to be the song that my boyfriend chooses to play over and over on his guitar hero. If you are in a relationship this is not a song you want your spouse playing over and over when their drunk. He tells me that depending on how our night has gone determines how he feels about the song. Other night he just likes her voice and the melody. Just to give you a idea of how often the song is played, his current score on guitar hero live is 107,001. I refuse to believe that I was being annoying that night, he had three too many shots and replayed the song 11 times. If you think I’m kidding sorry to say I’m not, Hell I counted! In that moment I chose to tell myself that he wanted a easier song to master. Crazy thing tho is after playing a song more than two times the colors start to blend and one hand stops moving causing me to miss keys.


The song to my boyfriend however is his way of telling me that we don’t click like we use to. He loves me but I don’t understand him or what he was trying to say. A solution to this is to let him explain to me what he meant or even better take the guitar and play a different song myself lol. A relationship is not easy, it takes time (a lot) and understanding. The music that a person listens to explains so much sometimes withoutthem ever having to say anything themselves. Either the music explains how they currently feel or a fantasy world they wish they could disappear too.
Lets be honest I’m a work in progress when it comes to trying to understand better.

Lets play! Ask me anything!

Soooo I stole this from the britchy one whom i will properly tag once im on my computer and not my phone.

In keeping with Rakkelle and Bottomless Coffee I’ve decided to stick with the ‘Ask me anything’ theme. Let’s see where it goes!”

You can ask any questions here in the comments section between now and Sunday and I’ll answer them on Monday.

Im Curious and may have a Confession or two.

Understanding Jane Gotti .25

Continuation from Understanding Jane Gotti

To understand .25 you must start at the link above…. join me on this journey 🙂

To speed up the story Calvin locked eyes on Jane and they became close. I’d even go as far as saying the eye color is what reeled her in. Trips to Bev’s house stopped becoming about meeting up with Bev and more about the

attraction to Calvin. He would often offer Jane pickles knowing that she loved them only to watch her suck on them. Sex in the shed, down back roads, and late night text started happening on

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the regular. You name it and it was going down. Aside from the fact Calvin was dating Bev’s mom still, the age difference made thing a little complicated at first for a 17 year old to be dating a 32 year old. Jane was freaking out herself and everything was just moving so fast. After running to clean herself off in the bathroom and collect her thoughts, she came out to Bev and her mother returning home. She had to play it cool so they wouldn’t suspect anything was going on.

As the weeks go by the sex was getting intense as they continued to fuck like rabbits. Knowing that at any minute Jane could get caught in the act, gave her the most intense adrenaline rush. Calvin later gave Jane the choice to continue sneaking around or go public with their relationship. The question to be honest came as a shock. She couldn’t believe that someone as sexy as him could be into someone like her. Her of all people, how could this be possible.

It was safe to say that Calvin had no problem cheating on his spouse. After a few months went by of them secretly dating they became public with their relationship. Calvin left Bev’s mother and later started cheating on Jane with some other sloth. I mean side chick or whatever. Jane was in love with him and although aware of the cheating she remained with him. At this time learning “it’s all in how you use your words”.

A skill Jane later began to test, a skill she later would come to master……

Girlfriend

Quick someone grab a freaking dictionary because I have no idea what the hell a girlfriend is or how to be one! So these two people have a baby and they attempt to teach this baby about life, have morals, goals, standard. ” You are never to good for something, they say. Sky is the limit, if you put your mind to it you can achieve anything, they say.” My dad spent my whole life 

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couching me to be the best person I can be all so in the end I can get that nice, fancy ring guys spend thousands on. Do guys even look at rings? Do they picture what their wedding days will be like?

“No man will marry a whore, You must keep a clean house, you must cook, make money but not to much money, not to much sassy, no man wants to argue, he would say.”  That’s all fine but no one has ever told me how to be a girlfriend first. What to do if everything I do is still not good enough. If you think the same rules apply as a “girlfriend” than a wife well let me be theRelated image first to tell you that you are wrong. That’s the simple shit that people just do on their own. It takes so much more or does it?

 

Understanding Jane Gotti

Jane Gotti

Who is to say that before now I have even considered getting into the head of Jane Gotti? As I write this sitting on my desk at work, it comes to my attention that she isn’t the type to be alone. At some point in her life she picked up the skill to be able to juggle multiple men at once and possibly a lady in the mix somewhere as well. Ok ok so I’m not sure if any of the females ever made it past the “good morning beautiful” text, but let’s not rule that out just yet.

I guess if we want to understand Jane Gotti than I’ll have to take you back a few years. Jane started hanging with a girl named Bev in high school. Bev and Jane knew each other before high school but never made it past the “hi” and “bye”. In high school they became real close and considered each other sisters. Bonding over what some would consider miner insecurities. This is where Jane meets Bev’s step-dad Calvin. Calvin used to drive around town in his current girl friends car, so Jane had seen him before. To be honest she considered him a pervert because when he would see her and her sisters walking he would circle the block.

After working out one day Jane went to meet Bev at her house and ended up beating her home. The only one that was home happened to be Calvin. Just as she was about to leave he invited her in and told her she could wait for Bev and her mother to come home. Thinking of the first time they kissed, Jane decided to wait. She wasn’t sitting on the couch long before Calvin joined her. Within minutes he was rubbing up and down her thighs and kissing her in the most magical ways possible. His type of kisses would have you believing in fairy tales again. Before she knew it his pants are dropped and she was sucking his dick and fucking on the couch. Calvin climaxed then freaked out with excitement on what just happened. Not knowing that Jane could please him so well during sex or how much fun it could be with her. After all Jane was 17 and he 32 years old.

 

To Be Continued…..

Understanding Jane Gotti is a work in progress.  Join alone for this ride 🙂

Submissive & Independent

I can’t recall why it even came up, but my boyfriend recently told me that I wasn’t submissive. When he first said it I came back with “Yes I am”.  Thinking or course that yes I do submit to him, because I want him to feel like the “Man” to feel dominant in the relationship. After two heart beats passed I quickly retreated from that response with “no, your right I’m independent”. Thinking on what those two words actually mean…..

Submissive– ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.

Independent– Free from outside control; not depending on other’s authority.

– Not depending on other for livelihood or subsistence.

It made me start to think real hard on whether or not a female could be both Independent and Submissive. So I took a couple friends in a great relationship, some not so great, and some not in a relationship at all, and asked them,” In your opinion can a woman submit to a man and be independent at the same time? Why, why not?” Much to Image result for ms independentmy surprise their opinions on the matter weren’t what I expected some of them to be. One Friend replied, ” Yes… I feel like you can cater and be loyal and respectful to your man yet not get pushed around and stand up for your own values and thinking”. My cousin stated, ” I think so yes being independent is just having the ability to support yourself and get everything on your own without a man and a woman can do that and still submit to a man. The man just has to have a level of respect for the woman and see her as his equal and not his property.”

After getting their answers I didn’t turn it into a debate and I did not challenge why they thought this way. Don’t get me wrong I was feeling a little skeptical. To stand up for one’s own values and thinking would fall under the independent category right? To be “his equal” raised many more questions for me like are me and my spouse equal? Can spouses be equal or does someone have to be the submissive one?

Another cousin stated, ” No, because full submission you completely depend on him. You have to submit to him in every way. How are you submitting to him when you take care of yourself?”. My old boss replied,” A true independent woman could not put herself in that situation. she would never be able to submit 100%. When you mix the two more problems evolve. Now, if the man is not the one to preach submitting, then they could exist. Or if the woman gives up some of her independence, yes they could work”.

These two answers seemed more along the lines with my relationship. My bosses answer kind of helped me with the question I had about being equal. In order for a female to be both independent and submissive she would have to give up some of her independence and make some decisions with her spouse. In other words making themImage result for ms independent memes equals, a team.  So with that being said it comes down to this… no a 100% Independent female could not be also submissive. In order to let your spouse to be the dominant one she would have to relax and trust him with the decisions of her life.

As for my actual relationship it helped me understand that we are more equal than anything else. Push comes to shove I take care of myself financially with out him because he makes it clear he is not the type of guy to pay my bills. However where we live, how we live is a equal decision, Our sex life I’m submissive (lets be honest no complaints there), and I can say that I think for myself on behalf of myself 65% of the time.